Welcome to Flat Top, Now You Can All Go to Hell

I think Mike sucks. Everyone who knows me has listened to me bitch about how much work sucks because of Mike. Mike Mike Mike. He's a great big jerk ass and I hope he doesn't give me my job back so I can go on unemployment and be happy without Flat Top.

Anyways, back to earth...

I cut my finger pretty hardcore yesterday and my Hello Kitty band-aid is making it really hard to type. I could take it off, but then I risk opening the cut and gushing blood all over my keyboard, and that's totally NOT what my computer needs right now. I watched Sin City last night for the first time and now I feel like I need to add blood and gore to my every thought. Yuck.

Chris's surgery went well, until his contact fell out Sunday morning and he was in agonizing pain for hours and I had to sit there unable to help him. He's asleep right now, and I think his tear duct implants are bothering him. He took a pain pill this morning, which he was fine without yesterday. Pretty soon the implants will dissolve and he will feel a million times better. Until then, I just keep putting in eyedrops and wait for him to see again.

We put up the Christmas tree yesterday after a hellacious start to a miserable Monday. First, I left the Christmas tree stand in Ande's car, so we were gonna drive back to Warsaw to go get it. However, my car wouldn't start because I left the lights on all night Sunday night. His Jeep wouldn't start because it's too cold here. His mom came over and jumped me which was awfully nice of her. We got the car started and headed out to look for Christmas trees that weren't frozen to death. There were none to be found. Luckily, Chris's mom had an old fake tree that she only used once or twice and then boxed up. It's in pretty good shape. It's not real, which bothers me to no end, but at least we have a tree. Next year, Chris promises we'll have a nice big real tree. The tree already had lights on it, but since we bought color-coordinating lights, we stripped the tree and put the old lights to good use. They're strung around the ceiling in our apartment which makes for a pretty romantic evening.

The fireplace is almost finished. Chris said he wanted to finish it tonight before Christmas. If his implants are still bothering him, he won't be able to see well enough to finish it in time. We head out to my dad's early tomorrow morning. I want to leave here around 8. I don't know if I'll be able to get Chris out of bed. Lately he's been getting up early for work, so that helps.

We moved all our furniture around last night to set up for the Christmas tree. Our apartment looks bigger in my opinion. It's kinda nice.

It's been forever since I last posted, and I think it's just because I'm starting to loose intrest in anything I once did. I still love to knit and spin and everything, but it's just been shoved down my throat lately because of Christmas. Christmas knittin always makes me hate knitting for about a month. Luckily I now have Ravelry which keeps my interest peaked, however I have started spending more time in front of my computer than with my needles. I still need to finish Kacy's present. The ends haven't been sewn in and I have no straps. However, I think that it's tight enough it won't need straps, especially worn over something else. I hope it fits her alright. I made it her size, so when I try it on it just looks silly. I have muffin tops now. Isn't that exciting?

I also need to finish the hippo and Melanie's sock. I started it about an hour ago and I got a whole row and a half finished before I headed back over to my dear computer. I have till Friday to get those socks finished and wrapped. I still need to get the dishes done today, finish up wrapping gifts and straighten up my room in case Shelly and Scott come over with the girls. Yuck.

Funny how I haven't posted in forever. I come back and make my triumphant return by bitching about Christmas.

Merry Christmas everyone!

The Haunting Hour

And no, I'm not talking about Halloween.

I'm freaking out about Christmas.

I have all the yarn I need. I think. I just don't think I'll ever find enough time to sit and actually get everything done. Scratch that. I don't think I have the patience to get everything done.

Another issue? I'm running out of motivation. I had most of yesterday off because I didn't feel good at all. I had all that time while Chris played his video game, yet I knit nothing. I did get my Ravenclaw sock worked on. I've only got two more rows before I start the heel chart. Somewhere I got messed up and I have one extra row, but in the grand scheme of things, I think it'll be ok. I made a note of it on the pattern so that as I work the second sock, maybe I'll see what happened. 

Oh yeah, and I tried to get the sock on last night, but I don't think it will fit. Oh well I guess. Good Christmas present for Ande. I can make some that look better. I can learn intarsia to do the eagles so they don't look all janky from the yarn-carrying. Ha. Take that little sister.

I'm starving. I had a really good day at work, but I didn't get off till 5 and now I want wings, but Chris is taking forever to get home. Meebo said he left at 6:17, but he still isn't home. Tick tock, babycakes. I'm ravenous.

The wonderful weather in Indiana is giving us nothing but rain all weekend. Cold, icky, ice cold rain. By Monday we're supposed to be getting snow. What a bunch of crap that is. It's only October and already it's starting to snow. Suck.

Chris and my anniversary is Sunday. I don't quite have his present done. I tried to finish it. I've been working on it since June. That was something I wanted to work on yesterday while I was home sick, but Chris decided that he needed to stay home and take care of me for some reason. So I didn't get any of it done. Maybe he'll do laundry tomorrow at his mom's and I can stay here and work on it...He still thinks I knit him something. :)

Gotta go get food. He's finally home! Woohoo!

Christmas Creeps Ever So Close Now...

It's been a while since my last post.  A lot has happened since then. But, I'm not really here to talk about my life outside knitting. At least, not today.

Instead, I want to make my Christmas list. Not what I want, but what I need to make for everyone else. I'm going to try and sort this list by importance.

1. Ande...Oh jeeze, what to make for the little sister. Scarf in school colors? Arm-warmers? Socks? I think I might need to revisit her after my list is done.

2. Mom...Mom loves scarves. Just which yarn to use is the question. And the fact that I HATE making scarves...

3. Chris...I put him lower on the list because I have already gotten him several things for Christmas. Chris wants me to finish his fingerless gloves, but the yarn has no give at all, and they are just no fun to make. He doesn't really wear scarves or hats. I could do another pair of socks...

4. My swap partner...Here is an issue. What the hell to make for her? I want to do an iPod sweater because she said she loves it and I just think they are so darn cute. But what else?

5. Donnie...Gotta finish the Jughead Hat!

6. Dad...Same as Donnie, only black with different colors for the points, I think.

7. Marcell...Scarf out of the Nikki I bought just for her...But I HATE scarves!

8. The Kids...Gwen, Gabe, Abby, Melanie...I already have a sweater for Gabe, and I think I can pump out a cute little pair of socks for him. Making socks for the girls shouldn't be too hard. But I'll probably need more needles to get them done in time.

9. Kacy...Grr. I hate making things for Kacy because I don't know what she'll use. I think she needs one of those catear hats. That'd be cute.

I'm so going to be late for work if I continue writing like this. I will try and revisit this list before work tomorrow. For now-Must dash!

Dealing With A Child's Death

She wasn't my little girl, but I loved her just the same.

Lillian Rose Kelly, I'm going to miss how you giggled and screamed when we played. I'm going to miss hearing you wake me up in the morning. I'm sorry I didn't share more of my string cheese with you, but I'm not sorry about giving you Mountain Dew in your sippy cup before your mom came home. I hope you liked playing dress up in my clothes. You looked so much like your dad. I know Autumn is going to miss you like crazy even if you were never a terribly big fan of hers.

Anyone who reads this should know that it wasn't Brandi's fault, even if she believes it is for the rest of her life. We loved Lilly so much. She never cried, and she was always messy.

Keep Brandi, Jeremy, and Autumn in your thoughts. I can't imagine loosing a daughter after only two years, and I can't imagine loosing my younger sister.

I'll miss you Lilly.

Everything's Coming Up Milhouse!...er...Kassi!

What a great day to end a perfect weekend. Friday night was great. I had dinner with my boyfriend and I got to go to a knit in. The knit in was great. I teamed up with mksmiles to make a pair of socks that I found on knitty. She is the fastest sock knitter around and was working on a pair of stranded Gryfindor socks. I showed her the pattern thinking she might like to try them sometime and before we left, she had already cast on and was half way through her cuff ribbing. I left with some black Cascade Heritage and a pair of loaner needles that go to Edith when I've finished my socks (hopefully before this weekend!). I couldn't stay terribly long at the knit in because I had to work Saturday morning.
Saturday breakfast was great! I had 3 tables total and worked about 2 hours (I was there for 4 doing sidework and the like), and at the end of the day I had walked away with $34! I was shocked at how well I had done on my first day on my own. I really like working at Flat Top. So far everyone has been really nice and I'm learning a whole new side of food service. I still need to get my liquor liscense, but I'm not totally sure how to go about doing that. Val and Christen were suppsed to get back to me on that but haven't yet. However, there are still two girls that are training, so maybe after that's all finished, I can go to that class.
After work, Chris and I had lunch at Flat Top. It was only nine-something for the both of us to eat since I can bring a guest and get 50% off. After that we went to Sarah Jane's so I could pick up the pink I needed to strand these socks with. I still owe Laurie some money from the black I got, but I plan on going in Wednesday afternoon or maybe Thursday and paying her. I also want to pick up a little something extra for Chris...
We came back to the house and Chris and I had some dirty fun, got cleaned up and decided to go grocery shopping. At Wal*Mart, we both got hair dye and I finally, after all these years of wishful thinking, dyed my hair black. I love it! Chris now has pinky-red bright hair and I really like his too. After that we watched a cute romance movie and ate junk food.
Sunday, I taught myself how to knit continental! I was absolutely frustrated on my way to Jenni's bridal shower, but once I got home, I picked up my socks and with the black in my right and the pink in my left, I started knitting. It's so easy! I am reading a chart and knitting continental and it's so much fun! My socks are speeding right along. I should have my first one done tomorrow or Wednesday, time permitting. The same lady that designed the socks I'm making also designed a pair of socks called "bpm" and they have a stranded Space Invaders design that Chris thought was really cool. I want to make them for him, but I need to find a neon color of green. I can't use varigated or self striping in these socks because that's not what the game looked like. Chris wants to do the chalk walk next year and has previously mentioned doing a Space Invaders scene, so I think these socks might be his Christmas present, if I can get everyone else's done too.
I also got my swap partner for the college knitter's group. She is going into her freshman year at Northern Arizona University. I think it must be in the mountains because all of her projects are scarves, hats and mittens. I think I'm going to use that Bernat blue yarn to make her a couple of fingerless gloves with her school name embroidered. Maybe. I also found a cute/cheap cardigan pattern that I just love. I want one for myself, but I think it would be something nice to give her too. Now I just need to figure out what else to put in her package. Stickers? Pens? A Beanie Baby?
Chris took me out for wings after Jenni's bridal shower. Leslie and I talked about knitting a bunch and I got to see pictures of Jenni's dress. It's so beautiful. I hope I can find a dress as pretty as hers if I ever get married. It was weird talking about what my wedding could be like. It made me think of Chris, but it was just weird. The wings were fantastic.
My socks are coming along so well and I'm actually doing a good job on something more complicated than I've ever tried before. I'm really excited to get them done so I'm working my ass off knitting up a storm. I want to hijack Chris's computer tonight and add pictures to Ravelry so that mk can see what I've been up to.
I also want to start Ravenclaw socks for the movie...But I have to Christmas knit. And swap knit. And finish Chris's anniversary present. And make his gloves he bought. So...I guess we'll see if I ever get around to those socks. They would be blue and silver even though they are blue and bronze in the book. Blue and bronze are just too ugly togther for me. Plus, gray/silver yarn is WAY easier to find than bronze. If you're looking for bronze, you'll end up with brown. Yucky orangey pukey brown. Not something I'd like to wear around. I think I want to try Knitting Off Broadway to see what color green she has for Chris's Space Invader socks. I don't think Sarah Jane's has a solid green that color. I dunno. I'll check when I go to pay for the black.
I gotta vacuum, get dressed and do some dishes/laundry before Chris gets home. I was thinking about putting my dress on and doing some pin up curls. Wouldn't that be sweet?

My Name is _______, and I'll be Your Server Today!

Welcome to Flat Top Grill, my new place of employment!
I thought that once I had heard the great news I would have posted immediately, but I guess not. I got the job last Tuesday and started Monday of this week. I am the youngest server at Flat Top and the only server without a liquor license. That's in the works though. I really enjoy the work. So far, I haven't been able to keep any tips because I've still been training. Tomorrow is the first time I'll get to keep what I make. However, I found out yesterday that the girl who was training me (Tristan) was making really good tips because of me. That's good news, right?
I have a knit in tonight and I have no fucking clue what to take with me. I was thinking about taking a sock pattern and asking Chris if he wants me to make him a pair of socks. My mom is bringing part of my rent money (I hope...), so Chris will have a bit of extra cash. I think it's probably going to go towards groceries (and aftershave!) but who needs $300 worth of groceries?
I can't wait to start making money. The first paychecks this month go out tomorrow, but I don't think I'll get one this week since I just started. They are probably like Ritter's with overlapping pay periods. This check probably ended Sunday, which means I wouldn't get one anyways because I didn't start until Monday.
Alright, so this has been pissing me off: Why is my computer saying that "didn't" isn't a word? It's saying that "isn't" also is not a word. Is it illegal to use contractions now?
Someone in my building is slamming doors and pissing me off even further than the incorrect use of contractions by me and/or my computer. It's not the people downstairs like usual...I think. It might be, but it feels like 1C, and I'm pretty sure no one lives there. Maybe 2C is the culprit. I know people live there, but they are so friendly and quiet usually. My whole friggin' apartment is shaking! It better not be some goddamn kids throwing shit in the stairways. I'll be pissed.
My mom should be here within 45 minutes and I'm sitting on the floor naked wrapped in my blanket (the air was set on freezing all night and my apartment takes forever to warm up). I'm thinking that at some point I should get dressed. But first, I'm going to look at some super awesome sock patterns for Chris. He says he wants blue and orange, but I don't want to buy two separate things of yarn. I would rather just make him a pair of black or orange. Not both together.
So...An incomplete list of shit that I need to get done today:
1. Get dressed
2. Clear everything off the living room and bedroom floors so I can sweep
(Side note! Chris came home from his mom's last night with two surprises. A package of Oreos and a VACUUM! His mom bought me a vacuum! I sat on the floor for about a half hour just playing with it because I'm so happy!)
3. Get my bank set up for tomorrow morning. This involves getting change for a 20 and going through our spare change to come up with about $3 in mixed coinage...Something I'm really not looking forward to.
4. Do the dishes. Ew.
5. Work on Chris's anniversary gift. I haven't really had a chance to work on it at all this week, and the clock is ticking. Today, Monday, and Thursday are the only day next week to work on it.
6. Crush some of my damn pop cans if I have time.
7. Shower.
8. Knit in.
9. Sleep so I can get up at 7 to go to work. Yay breakfast shifts!
10. Grocery shop tomorrow...If my mom brings us some money. Fingers crossed.

Ok...Off to start my day.

Where's the Love?

I miss romance.
Do men really buy their wives/girlfriends flowers every once and a while?
When girls get dressed up, don't men usually say that they look pretty?
I thought that when girls fished for compliments, men gave them some just to either shut up or get some?
I'd be happy for either at this point. I make him breakfast every weekend, and he just takes it for granted. Maybe I should just give up on breakfast. He never eats any of it anyways. Then he just complains that the dishes aren't done and he wants lunch.
I made him meatloaf because he says how much he likes it. I cried because I ate his chips and he got mad. It's like he doesn't care.
I know I've been kind of useless this past month. I have been looking for a job (I have one as of yesterday), and been pretty broke. But it's not just this past month that has been bothering me.
It's just a general lack of anything remotely related to romance.
Download a movie. Watch the Simpsons. Have sex. Download another movie. Have sex. Watch some more Simpsons. Eat dinner. Dishes aren't done. Have sex. Watch more Simpsons. Have sex. I try to make the house look nice or get dressed up or make a special dessert for him...And I just get ignored.
Maybe things will get better after I start making money. Then Chris won't be as disappointed in me. Maybe that will help with him actually trying to be romantic.

New Month...New Term...New Job...New Life?

I've got a job interview! Today at 3...And maybe one later. When I left Fricker's, the manager said he would call on Sunday night and let me know about orientation on Monday...But he never called. So, I'm gonna call around 10:30 and see if they got a chance to review my application. Worst possible outcome-they say they need someone with serving experience and I still have my interview at Flat Top Grille. Best possible outcome-they say they did and want me to come in tonight and pick up my Fricker's shirt because I've been hired, and I still have my interview at Flat Top. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
So far, this month has been pretty lame. I'm totally broke and I am trying to come up with the $300 I need to give Chris for rent. Maybe I should go to amature night at Showgirls tomorrow night. I bet I could make some good money. I don't have anything to dance in...Maybe I'll just win the lottery. That sounds easy, right? $35,000 would be awesome and I get so much accomplished with that much money. I'll just win the lottery.
School starts in less than a month. I need to get books, but I only need three. I need a French workbook, an Anthropology book and a book for my communications class. It shouldn't be terribly expensive considering Chris and I are sharing a French book and I already have all my math stuff. I think I might wait a bit on the anthro book because I don't want to buy it (unless I can find it cheap) if I'll never end up using it, like my psych book. I'm pretty excited about school starting, surprisingly enough. As much as I hated school last year, I don't think I'll have the same problem this term. I still need to get signed up for J100. I should send Susan Byers an email...That's another thing on my list to do today.
There's an idea. I could make a list of things to do today. I could do it each day. How long do you think that would last? Two...Three days? Tops? That sounds about right. I could try it. Maybe I should start another blog. Either that or just edit my "Stop Worrying and Start Living" blog. After the nice little argument I had with Chris a while back, I don't really feel like reading that anymore. Maybe a little organization is all I need.
That and to tweeze my eyebrows and file my nails down a bit.
Hopefully today marks a new life for me. A life of getting drinks and running credit cards and flirting with guys at lunch. I hope they let me know right away. I really don't know if I can stand to wait another week to hear back. The whole DeBrand's experience just sucked ass. In about an hour and 15 minutes, I need to call Fricker's and assess the damage. Until then, I need to do dishes and clean the house a bit. Maybe I'll fold Chris's undershirts too. That would be nice of me, wouldn't it?

Reposting of Buttons

Take that, Ravelry button!

Sunburn, Chalk and Pizza

I'm obscenely sunburnt. There's a big surprise. I am a vampire and I was outside in the sun all weekend. I should have known it would be bad. I never would have guessed I'd be in this much pain. All those summers marching and doing the chalk walk have never resulted in a sunburn this bad before. I'm limited in what I can do today. I'm pretty sure knitting is out of the question, but I can still read and do some work.
The chalk walk, however, went well...In a manner of speaking. We didn't get spots as good as last year, but they were still on Main Street. Ande spent more time sleeping in the shade than she did actually drawing. It raineduntil about noon on Saturday, so we didn't start working till 1. The cool part was that now that I live in Fort Wayne and Donnie does too, we could stay out till late working because we only had a 5 minute drive instead of an hour drive home. I barely got the coloring finished on mine Saturday night, and Ande hadn't really done anything, so we had to go back on Sunday. I finially finished mine right before the judging started (I entered the Trump l'oiel contest) and walked around to look at Leslie's and Kirsten's pictures. I saw Mary and Laurie too over the weekend. People seemed to really like my mosiac and one lady laughed and asked if I was for hire. I wish she would have been serious. I think doing mosiacs for people would be awesome.
I taught Ande how to knit on Friday, but my method was promptly replaced with contenintal style because of her raging carpal tunnel in her right wrist. Ande made 3 punds of spaghetti because she is retarded, and now I need to take the trash out because it's full of spaghetti that Chris and I could have eaten if she wouldn't have made (like I told her not to).
I think I'm officially in love with Pizza Hut's P'zones. The meat kind are sooo good! Chris offered to buy dinner last night because he thought he was getting paid much later this month, so he had been saving gas money. I can only eat half of one though. They are huge. And I think if Chris were to eat the one I had, he would probably get sick. Lots of gooey cheese and yummy sausage.
Oh yeah...I also got this.

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Cool, huh? I need to start linking this on every blog post. I can't wait till the next knit in. They are so much fun. I think I'm gonna start going to the lunch knit session on Fridays. That sounds fun.
I had a dream about yarn last night. How sad is that?

365

I just read about a project on flickr.com where you take a self-portrait of yourself every day for a year. I thought it sounded kinda cool.
Oh yeah. I'm supposed to link to Sarah Jane's Yarn Shoppe.

Did it work?

Independance Kinda Sucks...Not the Day. The Concept.

I'm bored and lonely. It's bad enough that I have to sit around alone all day when Chris is at work, but now that he doesn't come home at night, I'm bored. However, I am coming up with some really great knitting ideas.
It's the Fourth of July and there are fireworks at IPFW tonight. I think I might go, but I really don't have the money if I have to pay. My bank account is overdrafted thanks to Chris's mom's car going psycho yesterday in the parking lot at Hancock Fabrics. What an ordeal that was. It cost me $60 to unlock a car that isn't mine. On the plus side, the guy that unlocked the doors for me was a really nice guy. I should have asked his name. He looked like the kinda guy that would really appreciate something hand-knit. Like a scarf at Christmas. Oh well. Maybe I'll call back and get his name and send him a thank you card. That would be nice. Not like I have much else to do today.
The whole reason I was at Hancock was to look at buttons. Their selection is so much better than JoAnn's or Hobby Lobby. I'm going to start going there for buttons and also...Yarn! They have every Lion Brand yarn you could ever want. So, as I was perusing, I found this arcrylic/nylon blend that came in black. It's DK weight, so I grabbed some (cost me $5.02) and I am making Chris socks! I've never really made him anything before, so I thought it would be a nice little surprise for when he gets home. I just don't know how to wrap them.
I was up till 5 this morning working on the first one, which is finished except for weaving in the ends. Stephanie Pearl-McFee was right--Turning a heel makes a knitter feel smart. I finished the heel and I was just so thrilled to see it take a corner shape like it was supposed to. That was really cool.
I've cast on and worked about a half inch on the second sock, and once I'm finished with this one (tomorrow, probably. I can't keep pulling all-nighters like I have been), I was thinking about buying a skein of the pink Babysoft, and making some argyle leg warmers for myself. But at the same time, I don't want to buy anymore yarn until I make something out of the yarn I already have. I want to make Jenell a snood-type hat. I saw a girl in Chris's theater class wearing one and I thought Jenell would look great in one. But then I feel bad that I never finished Ande's panda, and I want to make something for her too.
My shoulders are starting to hurt from typing like this, so I'm done for now. But because I'm sitting at home alone, I'll probably keep blogging all weekend, even though I really have nothing to talk about because I'm sitting home alone. Ah well.
Happy the Fourth!

Death to Windows

My computer is dead. Death. Gone. I'm using Chris's really old iBook and it hates me. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need a new laptop. Why am I so positive that my computer is gone? Because Fort Wayne hates me. My car died. I hate both my jobs till I get fired from one. I'm poor all the time. And now my computer is dead. This sucks.
I've started making cardigans for Chris's neices. He's leaving on Thursday and my sister isn't coming to stay like we had originally planned. So, I'm gonna be stuck here by myself for four days. However, it's not like I haven't already gotten used to it.
Two weeks in a row. Why? Why does sucky shit keep happening? At least sucky shit that I have to PAY for. If it just involved sucky shit that is free, I wouldn't mind nearly so much.

I Should Be Doing Something

I probably should be working.
Or knitting.
Or reading.
Or doing something productive.
But I am frustrated. So I don't feel like doing anything.
I did find a really awesome scarf pattern, but after about 8 inches, I realized that I'm doing it incorrectly. So I think I'm gonna start over in a different color. I have some leftover yarn from the top I made. I was thinking about trying again in that pretty aqua color.
Chris is making me angry. Which bothers me because he is leaving next Thursday. I hope Chris's mom is leaving me her car. Or mom will leave me her's. I need a car that way I can go get food and maybe go hang out with someone. What will I do all by myself? I'll be so friggin bored.
Mrah.
Bored.

Stupid Teenage Drama

I know I'm a drama queen. I know I'm high strung. But that doesn't make me feel any better.
Both my mom and ex-stepfather have MySpace accounts. My ex-stepdad got one just so he could check up on my mom and see who she was hanging out with. I don't feel bad for her. He did the same thing to me by reading diaries and the like. I went on MySpace today (something I rarely do, especially now that I don't use the email where my notifications are sent) looking to watch my mom's 40th birthday skydiving video. For some stupid reason, I decided to check out my ex-stepfather's pictures to see what his new 18 year old girlfriend looks like. (She's a stripper too. Picked himself a real winner this time!) He has an album titled "Dogs I know," which bugged me for several reasons.
1. Know should be capitalized. It's part of a title, and what makes it worst is that it's the last word! Last words of titles are always capitalized! Idiot.
2. The first 6 pictures are pictures of Hans and Jewels, the dogs that still currently live with my mom and little sister. My mom paid for the Hans to have both knees replaced, and she loves those dogs more than you could possibly imagine. Looking at the captions, he keeps saying "my dogs." He hasn't lived at that house in almost a year. How can he possibly even concieve calling them "his dogs?" I hate him for many, many reasons, which I've told the people I care about more than enough times. I won't go into detail here. But, I will bitch that he needs to change the captions of those pictures because I know that for a fact that if he were to walk into the house, the dogs would bark and growl at him just like they do any other stranger. He is nothing to my family anymore so how dare he claim ownership of such an important part of it?

I didn't leave any nasty comments like I wanted to because I'm a firm believer that if you don't want to see something on the internet, don't go looking for it.
As for other news in my life...I'm so fucking bored! I haven't left the house in days and I have only changed once and that was because I cleaned the house for Chris and made dinner and thought I'd look cuter in jeans rather than baggy sweatpants. That's the only reason I have to put day-time clothes on. I am so bored and I don't have a car or a bike lock so my possibilities are kind of restricted right now. I found out I have a little bit of extra money in my account right now, so I'm hoping I can talk Chris into taking me somewhere for dinner. I really really want Panda Express. To be able to go out and stretch my legs sounds so amazing right now.
Also, this lack of getting out of the house is killing our electric bill as well as food supply. You would think I'd be getting knitting projects done, but I haven't finished anything since last week. Grr. Because I'm eating so much all the time, I'm also starting to gain weight. I want a vaccum so that I'm forced to walk the length of our apartment several times every day or two. Or a bike lock so I can go places. That'd be pretty cool too.

Almost...Finished...Hate....Seaming...

I'm almost finished knitting the only thing I've ever designed by myself. I'm really happy. I want to put pictures on here as well as Ravelry because I am trying to decide if I should put the pattern up here.
Yes. You heard me right.
I wrote out a pattern. Finally.
So, I'm just chilling out at home. Imagine that. Dan sent me work, but guess what? My pages are down. Of course they're down. They're always down. So, I might not get to work at all unless Ross fixes my pages.
The best part about not working for Dan? Now I've been fired from Ritter's, so if I don't work my ass off this week somewhere, I won't be able to pay rent! Isn't that exciting?
Yup. It's official. Anah called me last night saying, "I normally do this in person, but you don't have a car, so I will just let you know that I'm gonna let you go because we tried it and you're just not a good fit here." Not a good fit? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I've been working at Ritter's for 4 and a half years! How am I not a good fit? I basically live for Ritter's. I have ever since I was 15! I was scheduled three days this week. That was an extra $100 I was gonna use for groceries. Now, we're probably gonna be hungry. Chris has to pay for his Jeep and insurance, and I was gonna pay for groceries. Man, I hate being poor.
But don't get me wrong.
I hate Ritter's way more.

Breakdown #2--New Features Added!

Was it really a whole week ago when I sat on the couch at my mom's bitching about how bored I was? Little did I know that my life would almost end a few days later.
Thursday, June 12th, to be precise.
I can't take much more of this worthless feeling. I left everything good in Warsaw. I love Chris, more than I could ever explain on some stupid blog, but he can only carry me so far. As great as he makes me feel, I have never been someone who relied on others to be happy. Ever since the Jake accident, I have vowed to never let anyone else make me unhappy. Chris makes me immeasurably happy, but lately, that's all. It's Chris and nothing else.
Not even knitting.
Not even working.
Part of the reason work isn't making me happy anymore is because I haven't been working. During my breakdown, I talked to Dan about getting back to work for him. He said maybe he'd try. I don't really know what else to do. I'm looking for jobs elsewhere. I talked to Lauren about being scheduled more often. I had dreams that I walked into Ritter's today (I have to work in about 44 minutes) and I wasn't on the schedule anymore because they were tired of me doing things the "wrong" way. I know I'm doing them right. I don't get why I'm the enemy here! It's breaking my heart, and I really don't know what to do.
Chris really is trying. But it's not working. How is he supposed to make me happy when I can't even make myself happy?
I don't know the answers to any of these questions and I've started second guessing myself on every decision I make. I've never been indecisive. Ever. Why now? Am I really just not cut out for college life?
I'm still only a kid...

Frustrated

I had my break down today. Complete break down. I'm so lucky I have Chris. If it weren't for him, I probably would have quit immediately. I hate knitting. I hate work. I am frustrated. Hopefully sleep will help.
Oh yeah. And apple pucker makes me kinda wanna throw up. Well, at least after sex...

On Hiatus

Right now all projects are currently on hiatus.
Why
Because I'm back in Warsaw! My little sister graduates tonight and I had to come back to town for it. Last night I got to hang out with Rusty and some other drunken stoners I used to kinda hang out with in high school. I was never a huge fan of any of them, but Rusty can be pretty cool on occasion. I think the main reason he wants to hang out is the hope that sooner or later I will bring a single friend back with me from Fort Wayne.
(This is the part where everyone else on stage freezes, and the spotlight shines directly on me as I speak to the audience. All other stage lights are killed.)
This is funny for two reasons. First off, I don't really hang out with single people. Chris and I are starting to see a lot more of Jenni because while school is out for the summer, she is unemployed (yet another drawback of being a teacher). Jenni is a wonderful person, but she is engaged. My best friend also is in a long-term relationship. In fact, I doubt I will see much of Kacy at all this summer because she is much more concerned with saving money to drive to Bloomington to meet her boyfriend than driving the hour to come stay at my apartment for a weekend. I guess that's just how life goes. Anyways, that's the first reason why Rusty wanting a single friend of mine is funny.
Secondly, I don't hang out with anyone. Honestly. When Chris is at work and I don't have anything to do that day for Dan, I'm bored to tears. My only friends (if you can even call them that) are the knitters and crocheters on Ravelry. I don't actually have a relationship with any of them, most of the girls on there only talk to me when they like the sweater I'm making or I say something witty and clever on the I-Hate-Kids board. I hardly ever actually talk to anyone about anything interesting. So, you can see the humor here. Rusty wants me to bring a single friend with me. I'm starting to realize that I don't actually have any friends.
(I walk back to where I was previously standing before this revealing aside and freeze momentarily in position as the lights come back up and action resumes.)
Chris had a really cute movie idea that he told me about before we left for Ritter's yesterday. I look all over the house for my lion, and in each shot, you can see him somewhere hidden in the background. Just as I'm about to give up in frustration and collapse on my bed, I walk into the bedroom and he's just chilling out on the bedspread. I think it sounds cute. Unfortunately, we can't shoot anything till Sunday. I'm going back to Fort Wayne (strange still to call it home) Saturday, but I work Saturday night. I think it will be more fun than what we normally do on Sundays.
Summer is here and it's hot as hell. I miss my air conditioning. And the dogs are killing my allergies. Why did I want to come back so bad? Not to mention it's weird to be sleeping alone again after getting so used to having Chris right there if I needed him.
Big day ahead of me. I get to go to my yarn store, possibly mow the yard (if I don't kill the mower, or if I can even get the damn thing started), go to lunch with Mrs. Erwin and Kacy, go to graduation, maybe hit a party or two later tonight, and manage to find enough sleep to not pass out tomorrow night at close. I think I close with Alex. That's good. I can leave early if necessary. Anyways, I have a lot I would like to get done today. My mom gave me a $20 for food or whatever. I'm probably going to spend most of that at the yarn store. Luckily, I gave Chris all of my tip money for laundry, so I am short about $6 or I would have spent that at Kathy's too.
It's just after 6 in the morning, and I'm kind of planning my day. I'm up so early that my plan might involve a nap. I haven't gotten up this early (and stayed up) in ages. Not since before I moved. I used to wake up before 6 every morning so that I could leave before 6:30 to get to Fort Wayne. That's all over now and it's great. Chris and I wake up about 7:15 and head to work...Well, I get up and put in the Simpsons and watch tv and knit all day. I guess today probably won't be much different than any other day. I wonder if Adam is still in town of if he's left for Guatemala yet. I don't know when Lakeland's graduation is, so he might already be gone.
I've sat and rambled for much too long, so I'm going to get off here and maybe take a shower and shave or something. Maybe I'll just color the shower because I haven't had a chance to do that for months. Once I'm unbanned from the basement (mom's working out), I can begin on my knitting again. I'm resizing my $5 in Paris so that it fits Gwen. The yarn I want to buy today is for the cardigan I made for Gabe, only bigger and girlier for his sister. Just a few more hours till she's open...

Quitting

I'm quitting both my jobs and becoming a full-time knitter. I can't stand either of my jobs anymore and I just want to leave this life and start over as a knitter. It's the only thing I want to do anymore and I can't stand it.
What has sparked this shocking turn of character? What has caused me to change my entire world view? Why have I suddenly and unexpectedly given up something I have loved since the tender age of 14?
I have been declined a job at DeBrand's. Damn it! I wanted this job! I needed an actual full time job, rather than two completely worthless jobs. I am running out of hope for work. I used to love working. I had such dreams. I want to just give up and knit/crochet for a living. I don't plan on going into the office at all this week because I just got screwed over on my paycheck. I worked 36 hours and made $250? That's wrong! I'm supposed to be making $10 an hour! I should not have had a third of my paycheck taken out in taxes! I think Dan is screwing me over and still paying me only $8 an hour. I hate Ritter's, and I hate IFN. I know that Chris has much better reasons to hate it, but I know what I like about jobs. I hate working for people that won't do the same tasks they ask me to do. Dan does that. I also hate being treated like I don't know what I'm doing. I have been working at Ritter's for longer than anyone else there and they all treat me like I'm just some lost and confused new employee.
I've lost the will to work. Today I'm going to finish my cardigan and start something new. I doubt I will work at all. I hate my job. Therefore, I'm not going to. Period. Tired of work. Done.
On the plus side, this cardigan is coming along really well.

Knit's End...Erm...End of Sleeve...

I friggin love my new shirt. Well, I'll love it once it's done. I'm working on the second sleeve and then I have some ribbing to do at the bottom. It's turning out so pretty. I'm a little concerned that it won't hang up like my black sweater. It's very drapey and loose. The stitches look fairly tight, but the yarn is much finer than the needles used, so it's really soft. I'll post pictures soon.
I am really very much in love with my boyfriend right now. He is so damn cute. I'm trying so hard to like Futurama...But it's just not really that funny. (I just sneezed down my shirt. Ew.)
I think my interview today went well. The shop manager said that second interviews almost guarantees a job at one of the shops. That's really great because I am tired of Ritter's. Actually, I'm sick of both my jobs. The only problem is that Dan is paying me $10 an hour, and Ritter's isn't. I want so badly to stay, but I just can't take it anymore. I'm considering putting my two weeks in tomorrow. Chris said to wait just in case I don't get the job at DeBrands, but if tomorrow goes like today and the past few months have, I'm putting in my notice tomorrow. I can't stand much more of this job. Damn shame I can't quit both and start over. Meh.
I need to finish that shirt. I think I'm gonna work on that and talk to some old pals on Facebook until Chris gets home all frisky. :)

Believe It or Not...

I actually hate work. Both of them. Today kinda blows. I wish it would have rained...
We woke up late. About 45 minutes late. And Chris forgot his power supply, so we had to run home and get it. Then, on our way back to the office, we stopped to get doughnuts at the Marathon, and the douchebag in front of us took all of them! We only had enough bread at the office to make one piece of toast each, and then a sandwich for me. Sergei took all day to fix the one piece I need to actually do my work. I got paid at Ritter's and my pay check is missing almost 15 hours!
...
And now I am starting to believe that Chris thinks I'm stupid for believing in God and that our government isn't totally corrupt. Today sucks.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

I have decided to take on the frivol hat again. This time, with vengeance. I plan on knitting that hat and making it work so that my sister will have something nice to take to school with her. And if she doesn't wear it, I'll kill her. Plain and simple.
First off, the cable down the middle is going to be red. Ball State=red and white, so the hat will be red and white.
Secondly, I'm starting at row 2 and working until row 1, that way I don't have to twist stitches to seam it up at the end. Plus, it should be slightly easier to pull the stitches off the cast on edge. We'll see.
Third, I'm embroidering BSU between 3 of the cable openings off to the right of the center. (When you wear it, it will look towards the left. If you're looking at someone wearing it, the letters will be to the right.)
Fourth, (and this is totally just an idea, I'm not sure if I'm actually brave enough to do this part) knit the ribbing in alternating colors on the top and bottom of the hat. The purl stitches will be red and the knit stitches white. Since this hat is worked back and forth, it will be a real pain in the ass to try and remember which is which.
I'm working the hat with two separate bobbins of red for the cables and probably a third with the ribbing so that I'm not running myself mad trying to twist and untwist.
Am I really this skilled? I don't know. Will this be a "stay-at-home" project rather than an "on-the-road" project? I'm thinking along the lines of...Yeah.
I already knit a row and fucked up, so we are going to frog and go again. I'll keep you posted.

Update!
I almost forgot. I finished Ande's katamari. It's got the magnets in and everything. I used the less strong magnets because I assume it will sit on the same desk as her computer and possibly speakers, and really strong magnets can ruin speakers and computers. Maybe the less strong magnets will be better. If not, she can text me that she wants a new one and it can be her Christmas present.

Quite Literally--I'm on a Roll

I have two katamaris finished now and I'm about 5 rows from being finished with my third. Well, let me define finished: They are completely crocheted, but I haven't been able to get magnets because I don't get paid till tomorrow. I had two people at work ask for one, so now I have to make more. But, they don't take very long, so I don't mind.
I found some super strong magnets for fairly cheap online, so I'm gonna order them tomorrow or early next week. We will see.
In other good news, our electric bill was only $26!! I'm pretty excited considering it was over 80 last month. Maybe we haven't been home as much as the month before...Who knows?

NaNa...NananananananaNa Katamari Jag

I have knitting jag.
Unfamiliar with the term? Check out Casting Off, by the Yarn Harlot.
I finished up my sweater, and after looking on Ravelry, I found a really cute hat pattern. I got finished with the knitting and needed to graft the seam...Yeah, well...Let's just say it's been frogged, for lack of a better definition. I was so disappointed in my disastrous attempt at using a provisional cast on and grafting cabled stitches. I plan on tweaking the pattern just slightly to make the same style hat, only in red and white for my little sister's graduation present.
However, before I can get that done, I need to get over my jag. What am I stuck making this past week?
You guessed it: Katamaris. They are just cute as hell and super cheap to make, so I am making bunches of them and throwing them in my great katamari bag. Until I have the money for the magnets I need to make them useful, I am just crocheting an obscene amount of little pieces and throwing them together in one small project bag. I figure after my jag is over, I will have enough pieces to furnish my entire family with katamaris for the next few years. Chris demands that each of his katamari's "nubs" have a 30 lb pull, so his are on special order. Besides crazy boy, everyone else gets the standard JoAnn's magnets called for in the pattern.
I needed a place to vent about my jag because I feel silly making so many pieces but not having pictures of them. The reason I have no pictures is because I don't want to take a picture until it's finished. It won't be finished until I get the magnets. I won't get magnets till sometime this weekend. Grr. I'll probably take them all with me to work on Sunday since I open and I won't have anything else to do from 10-4.
Did you know that on this page, crtl+u actually is the shortcut for the page source as opposed to underlining text? I didn't realize that till today, and it bugs me. I wanted to underline. Now I am sad. Maybe some happy katamari goodness will help!

Victory is Mine, and it is Sweet

My sweater is finished. I couldn't be happier...Except that the sleeves are poofy...
If I keep thinking about it, I will just be miserable for fucking up my sweater.
I will just move on instead.

So...I am starting a pair of socks. maybe. Maybe I'll just make one and never finish the other because I am lazy and have second sock-itis. We shall see. Chris will probably be super excited to see me working on socks because he's wanted me to make him black ones forever. I don't know if I'm going to make white socks or maybe pink and yellow fuzzy ones. I dunno. I'm thinking.
Jenni (Chris's best friend) is doing a photo shoot tomorrow of him and I together. She says that she needs a picture of the two of us to replace the one she has of Chris and Jessy. I'm slightly nervous. I've never been the subject of a shoot before. I don't know if I'll be any good. Guess we'll find out tomorrow.
I really should be studying. Maybe I'll go knit and look over my psych notes again, and then I will come back later tonight.
I'm hungry.

So Much For That Idea

I've changed my mind. There is no way in hell that I will be able to finish that sleeve tonight. It's after 7:30 already and I can get working on it, but I won't get it finished. maybe I'll work on sewing the ends in the other sleeve and maybe sewing up the shoulders tonight. I know that the making up will be the hardest part for me. I don't think I have enough rows on the front even though I definitely counted the whole way through. It just looks wrong. We will find out though, won't we.
Also, I really REALLY need the weather to stay cold for just two more days so that I can wear my sweater on Wednesday. I want so badly to have this sweater finished in a week. I should get to work.

The Will to Knit

My will has been revamped. I now have spirit and courage to finish this sweater. I left off yesterday with less than 4 inches on the first sleeve and I plan to have them both finished by the end of the day. I should have it sewn together by tomorrow afternoon and then the neck edging finished by tomorrow night. I will hopefully have at least the sleeves sewn on tonight. They shouldn't take as long as making sure that the side seams are perfect. There is one lady on Ravelry that shows her seams and they are, for lack of a better term, perfect. It's gorgeous and I can only hope my sweater turns out as beautiful as hers has.
As a matter of fact, I think I will go work now. I had planned on sitting and creating quite the rant (not as bad as yesterday's though). Now, I feel the itching in my hands and my heart racing with anticipation of a finished product. I will try to remember and post latter to log how far I've gotten. We will see.
Keep your fingers crossed that I don't loose my momentum.

My Equivalent of Taking the Stairs at the Sears Tower

I have two sleeves left.
That's all.
Just two little sleeves and I'll be finished with my sweater.

But I just can't do it. I'm stuck in this rut where each stitch I take is tearing my soul apart just a little bit. It's both physically and mentally exhausting. Every row I have to put my needles down and look longingly at the beautiful creation from the past few days. The perfect gauge stockinet stitch front and back of my Sweetheart sweater. It's smooth and soft, the darting gives it such a pretty fitted shape. I have so many fond memories of working and the excitement I felt getting each new step finished towards my goal of having this sweater finished in less than two weeks.
These sleeves will be the death of me.
I will knit, whether I want to or not. I just don't have the gumption to sit and stare at them hoping they will somehow spark some feeling of devotion like the rest of the sweater has. I am a woman torn. Torn between the love for her sweater and the hatred of these sleeves.
It's not that the sleeves are especially difficult. They are just long. I feel like I'm making a scarf. The pattern calls for measuring them in inches. You work even or increase until the sleeve measures said inches. For some strange reason, I have a mental block when it comes to working pieces in inches. Maybe it was just the letdown of the Microspun disaster that has me worries. If that was the case, however, I wouldn't have taken so long to finish that in the first place. Maybe it's just that the actions are so repetitive that I don't have the option of pushing myself.
(Let us note here that I just said I hate repetitive motions. I love knitting. Send me all the questions you have, but I won't be able to answer them. I know perfectly well that what I just said makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but you must understand that I hate repetitive motions. And yes, I still love knitting.)
I think there is just one more thing standing between me and a finished sweater. Unhappiness at my current situation. I desperately need Chris to stand behind me while I finish this. Without some type of encouragement or excitement, I won't be able to care enough to finish and this gorgeous sweater will be thrown in a ziplock bag and thrown in my closet. Right now, the only thing he wants to hear is me running water for dish washing. I have been apprehensive about this situation from week one. I was under the impression that he would be doing the laundry, and I would be doing the dishes. He would cook, and I would clean up afterwards. So far, none of that has held true. I have helped with laundry every week, carrying laundry baskets, folding laundry. I also cook regularly. Yet, I still do all the dishes. I also have been supporting him for the past month while he tries to pull himself out of a hole he dug with his insurance, car payment, rent and gas. I have been paying for gas partially, and it kinda bothers me that he won't pitch in and help with the dishes. He might put them away on occasion, but usually I will just wash them and we use them from the counter. He expects me to do them almost every day or every other day and if I don't, he just complains that we don't have dishes to eat off. And we do. Plenty of them. I mentioned the fact that he might be able to wash them too if it bothered him that much, but he can't do dishes because of his germ phobia. Did I mention that I'm paying for the laundry as well? Since we moved in, I have been paying for laundry every week. It can be anywhere from six to nine dollars a week to do laundry. And I pay for it. He will pick up the living room every once and a while, but I am usually pretty good about picking up after myself anyways. I'm not sure I like this development. It really bothers me when I word harder than I get credit for. I hate when work is one sided and I don't like working when I won't get respect for it later. He just assumes that I should do dishes. That's not right. I can just let them pile up and when I want something to eat, I can wash something for myself. If he wants something clean, he can deal with it himself. I don't want to be like that. That's bitchy. But, it's like, what is he doing to show that he appreciates the dishes being done? He doesn't cook more often so I don't have to, he doesn't get dressed up and clean the house so that when I come home it's a nice surprise, he doesn't pay for laundry or dinner at a fast food place. He just assumes that I'll do them again because I have to. Because he wants me to. That's not fair.
That rant is over. Sorry it took so long. I really want to paint my nails, but I don't have any nail polish. Maybe I'll just go do dishes so Chris will want to talk to me long enough to say something about my sweater being done. Probably not. He's working, so if I start doing dishes, it will go unnoticed until we have dinner tonight, where he will ask me to help put dishes away so that he has room to cook, or ask me to defrost the meat so we can eat. Something along those lines.
Damn these sleeves and the problems associated with them.

It's Days Like Today...

...that make me want to kick my boyfriend.

StitchDown-LetDown

I was so pumped for the stitchdown today. I had all these plans for taking in my sweater and letting everyone just touch it and congratulate me. Now, I am stranded at Ritter's on a windy and miserable day. I thought for sure that I had to work yesterday, but no. I have to work 4 to close today and now all my plans are ruined. I am beyond pissed.
In good news, my sweater is coming along simply swimmingly and the more I finish, the more I just love it. Each stitch is painstakingly counted and passed oh-so-carefully from the left to the right. I have three rows left until I begin the shaping on the neck and shoulders. Then, I have to make the sleeves and sew it all together. It looked small when I began the back, but now I can see that it will be big enough to get over my weird ass hips. It's slightly longer than I thought it was supposed to be, but that just thrills me more. The picture makes it look like it ends right at the waistband. I see now that it will be a little longer than that, which I am happy for. I hate short shirts. I like knowing that I can pull it down when I'm sitting so that you can't see my underwear like the stupid slutty girls at school.
I thought it was strange that the pattern uses short row shaping over the chest. My sweater has boobs now. It's just weird. I've never seen a sweater with boobs before. I do like the idea, however. It's like the sweater gives the same support a bra would give, only it's built right in. Like, a little shelf for them to sit on. Kinda cool if you ask me.

Current Completeion...10%

I have been knitting like mad. I've clocked in at about 7 hours so far and have finished just over 4 inches. I keep thinking to myself, "Why did my last sweater take me so damn long to finish? This seems so easy!" I have come up with two answers. The first is that my first sweater (the ugly, adult elephant-sized Microspun disaster) was huge! It started with several hundred cast on stitches and ended with an equally sucky number of bind off stitches. The second reason I could think of is that it wasn't fitted, therefore had very few decreases and many, many increases. I am much happier with the look and feel of this sweater already.
Right now I'm just working on the skirt of the sweater (this one is bottom-up as opposed to the first sweater which was top-down) so I am working many rounds even at a time, so I have lots of time to think. I love this yarn very much because it is incredibly soft and warm (not bastardly hot like you would believe wool to be) and stitches up beautifully. Also, the um, "variegation" in the yarn is turning out way prettier than I could have ever hoped for. It is subtle and beautiful and I can't wait to wear this masterpiece. I think that if I could come up with a name for my new "colorway," it would have to be Obviously Subtle. It fits the yarn to a perfect match.
When someone learns to knit, my favorite advice to give them is to go to a yarn store and buy something they absolutely love. Whether they buy some ridiculously expensive silk just to tuck away and touch when they are feeling blue, or if they buy something sturdy and practical to make a scarf for themselves out of, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to work with a yarn you just love touching. I think that could have been another problem with my Microspun fiasco. The yarn is soft and slippery and shiny. I like to touch it, only my cuticles are dry and cracked in some places. My nails sometimes get a little rough at work. The yarn is great to touch, only if you have any imperfections on you hands, they will catch on the super thin fibers. It makes the yarn somewhat difficult to handle when it's December and your hands are chapped from the cold air. This yarn is wool, and although soft, is much hardier than Microspun, and I enjoy that. I couldn't have chosen a better yarn for this project, and it was such a steal! This whole sweater is only costing me $30 to make! $20 for the yarn, $4 for the dye, and $6 for the shipping! I will definitely be buying from KnitPicks again. They were great and I had an amazing delivery time. I thought I would have to wait 5-14 days, and in the end, I ended up waiting just 3!
This dying my own yarn option has opened up a world of doors to me. I want to start again immediately but I need to get rent paid before I can start ordering more yarn. I think I want to save a bit back so that I can order over $50 and get free shipping. I ordered 500g for $20, so I was thinking about looking at my other options. I could buy silk, superwash, alpaca...All sorts of different fibers and try out this Kool-Aid dye method and make lots of yarn to sell or knit or give away to people I like. I'm pretty excited.
I should be working. I was waiting for Ross to get on ICQ, but he hasn't yet. Maybe I'll just log some time for fixing my excel surveys. That sounds like a plan.
Or...
I could knit!

The Adventures in Sweaters

My yarn is finally here! Actually, it was here yesterday and I was so caught up in the dying process, I didn't get a chance to post. I had started, but I was running back and forth from my sink to my stove to my bathroom (where the shower is currently off limits because 500g of yarn hanging from the shower curtain bar) and then to bed to 1. wake Chris up and 2. fall asleep because I am coming down with some type of bug that is making me miserable. I am swollen, puffy, runny, sneezy, coughy, and all-around gross right now and I felt terrible last night for poor Chris who had to sleep next to me.
Back to my yarn adventures. I have all the yarn dyed, but unfortunately, I didn't do a really great job by any means, so I'm going back today and redying it to hopefully achieve a better shade of black. I started thinking that maybe 500g of yarn and a black color probably wasn't the best idea for someone who has never tried this before. But I'm totally cool. It's going to be a beautiful sweater. I just know it. I'm still trying to decide if I want to do the intarsia design yet because my squares looked ok, but the back looked terrible. I'm thinking.
My yarn is almost dry, therefore I can begin knitting soon with the one hank I did manage to dye correctly. I'm so excited. I need desperately to wind this yarn, because I don't feel like knitting a sweater with 1300 yards of yarn that are just laying randomly in a pile.
I should be working right now, but I think I'm going to start a pot of water simmering first and begin work on the first hank I dyed.
Notes for future reference:
1. Buy a larger pot to dye in
2. Buy two jars of dye instead of one, just in case you screw up again.
3. Dye either all at a time in one large enough pot, or one at a time in a smaller pot. Do not dye in separate batches. You're sweater is going to be striped and you are going to look like a retard.
4. Yarn is hot when it's been sitting a half hour in boiling water. Don't touch it until you've either poured all the water out or let it sit and cool for a few minutes.
5. Get a mask. Vinegar smells and tastes terrible when you breathe it in.

So Little Time Left with So Much Left to Do

I am sick. If I had tonsils, I would probably have tonsilitis. Instead, I'm just sneezy, achy, stuffy, runny and sore. It sucks. To top it all off, Chris still has his tonsils, therefore is off limits to me right now because he has the possibility of getting what I have. And the best part? It's two weeks before finals.
I'm really anxious about getting my yarn. I want so badly to start my sweater. Lucky for me, I've always been on the short end of shipping times, so my yarn will hopefully be here by the end of the week! Hooray!
I need to get off here because I'm going to get the entire school sick by touching this computer. Ew.

Guess What?

I didn't post yesterday!! Wow. It's been a long time since I didn't post at least once a day. That's kinda crazy.
Well, I tried intarsia last night...With not too awful results. I got the twisting part down so I didn't leave any holes in the front, but...I ended up swagging all the color changes and I'm not sure how to fix it. I've been doing some research and I think I will try again tomorrow morning while Chris is still sleeping. That way I can really sit down and concentrate. I have some pictures on my laptop, but I don't have them uploaded to flickr yet.
My monitor is making a weird ass noise and I'm not sure why. I think I will just have to come back at a later time and pick a different computer... Nevermind. It stopped.
I made a Pikachu while I was supposed to be working for Dan. It doesn't have any feet yet, and it's ears were hard to make. It's eyes are uneven and so are the red spots on it's cheeks. Chris saw it and asked me if it's cheeks carried an electric charge. Unfortunately, they don't. I would have gone to Wal-Mart and gotten strong magnets if I had a car. There is a pattern for a Katamari on Ravelry and I want to make it for Ande's graduation present. It's absolutely stupid and basically useless (except as a paperweight) but I know she will love having it in her dorm. I could crochet an applause monster. Think she would like that?
10. Katamari
11. Applause Monster
12. Start my damn sweater once my yarn gets here (and dyed...I have to do that too.)
Should have brought my yarn with me. I have some green and black at home. Although, I think if I make a Katamari, it should be in great bright colors. Maybe I'll go to Hobby Lobby and just pick out some ridiculous colors that are on sale and just stripe the hell out of them. I think she would like that. I hope that pattern is free...
Well, I think I'm gonna go start work on my cow. I told Gail I'd make her a cow and I haven't even started it yet. Actually, I started it, but it was ugly. So I frogged it and am going to remake it.
Ew. I work tonight. It's going to be busy. And I'm probably going to have to do drawers, but whoever else is there is just going to stand over me and basically do it for me, because for some reason, they all think they know how to do this job better than I do. Wrong. True, I've never counted drawers at my old store, but I can count, therefore, they don't need to hover. I'm a big girl. I'm sure I will be just friggin' fine.
Oh well. Off to start my cow and ponder the possibilities of Katamari colors.

OH MY GOD!

I'm starting a new sweater. Kick me.

Better Pictures and Tougher Projects

I want to make a sweater. Period. I'm surrounded by people on Ravelry that make me feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I love my little menagerie, but I need to do something more grown up. I would really like to have the book I was looking at, but I don't have the money for it. Maybe if dad takes me to Barne's and Noble, he can buy it for me. Or Naughty Needles. That's another one I want. I want to make a friggin sweater.
Ronnie came and saw me at school today. That's good because I haven't seen him in ages and I wanted to hang out before he moved to New Jersey. I hope his fiance doesn't get all pissed off because he's talking to me again.
I want to make a sweater. I can't say that enough. I'm getting all geared up and ready to make a sweater, so I want to start soon so I don't loose my drive. If I can talk dad into buying me a book, that would be awesome. If I can't do that, maybe we could go to Hobby Lobby and I can talk him into buying me some yarn to start one. That would also be pretty cool.
My hands are jumpy again. I just can't get anything started that I like. The damn cotton got all tangled up and so I'm pissed off at my penguin, and I don't like working on projects that piss me off. I started writing a fish pattern, but it looks stupid. So basically, I'm in a rut. I need a sweater pattern! Not just need it... Like, I really need it! You understand, right?
Chris and I are....ok? We had lunch together and we talked. We were standing in line at McDonald's and my hands were in my sweater pocket and he kept grabbing at my sweater. I figured he wanted to hold my hand. I was right. He said I should at least pretend to like him. I talked to Matty about it and I don't really know what to do. I hope he tried to reconcile or something tonight. Like, tell me how much he loves me or something. That might help. Even if he just said he is sorry and will try not to yell so much in the future. That would be even better. I have to wait here at school for him until about 4:30. He is working a little bit extra right now and left me here. My dad is coming to Fort Wayne tonight, so I think we are all going to go out to dinner. That would be great.
I am so incredibly tired right now. Maybe I'll go outside and sleep a little bit until Chris gets here. It's really beautiful outside. I'm tempted to loose the sweater, but it's windy out and that makes it a tad chilly in the shade. Maybe I'll try to untangle my yarn. I searched for a swift and winder today because I want to wind my yarn. maybe not even a swift is necessary. I really just need the winder. Kathy had them in Warsaw. Maybe I'll just start there.
I'm gonna go take a nap. Exhausted.

Yup, My Mother Thinks I'm Crazy as Well

I told my mom about my tattoo idea. I said I wanted it as a birthday present. She told me it's a good thing my birthday is so far away. That way I can think about it. Lame.
I have been searching high and low on Ravelry for some good project ideas. I want to knit again for a while, and I'm thinking that I want to make a sweater possibly. There is the cutest little tank/short combo from a book that I really would like to get, but there are no copies available at the library and I'm currently out of yarn money to buy books or any materials. Something tells me I would need to buy a new set of needles for it as much as I don't really want to. There's also the question of yarn. It's made out of cotton which means I should have no trouble finding the same yarn or replacing it with something similar. The kind in the pattern is ugly to me because of the varigation. I like solid colors. Call me crazy.
My mom just lectured me via text that it's my body and that tattoo would be there forever. Need I remind her that she has a fairly large tattoo in the middle of her shoulder blades depicting a turned dragon that is in many ways similar to her ex-husband's in appearance and placement? Yes, I must. And...She said I am a brat. How fun.
School is giving away recycled grocery bags today. I think I will stop and get one. I need a new knitting bag that way I can throw my normal one in the washer. It has a coffee stain on it.
Chris and I are still arguing over nothing. It's starting to get to me. He doesn't understand that he should have apologized instead of waiting for me to tell him to. That's not how apologies are supposed to work, is it? Now I'm both upset and sad. I want this to be over, but not until he understands that I'm not going to just cave in every time. If he yells at me, it's not my sole responsibility to come running to him crying and saying "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you." He needs to step up and feel bad for hurting me. He said he is coming to school for lunch, but I have a feeling it's just going to be a waste of time. He's just going to pretend nothing happened and I'm still going to want an apology. This will probably continue until we get into another argument where it will just resurface. How do I know this? One: I am a girl. Arguments always resurface no matter how obscure and irrelevant. Two: Previous experience with guys. Guys want to move on, girls can't. That's just how it works. I love Chris because he isn't a typical guy, but he is still a guy. We'll see what happens.
My fingers are just itching to work. When not typing here, they are clicking and double clicking on Ravelry or even better, working with some scrumptious fiber just begging to become something beautiful. My heart is racing and my fingers fidgety. I want to work. I'm off to work on my penguin. I love my penguin. Oh wait, did I mention I'm making a penguin?

Oh by the way: I'm making a penguin.
Oh yeah: And I still want my tattoo.

Inked

No, I haven't actually gotten my tattoo. I was just thinking about it. I so badly want to get a tattoo. I really wish I had the money. If I could trade my entire stash for a great tattoo, I would do it. But it would have to be a really good tat. There's way too much money sitting here around me to trade for something lame or poorly done.
As soon as I finished posting, I sat down on the couch and took a nap. It's after 7:30 now and I haven't done a single thing to get more organized or even start a new project. (I really should finish one rather than starting a new one. Like Phoenix. She still needs legs!) Being on Ravelry makes me want to jump up and down and knit, but I'm having a hard time actually thinking of something good. I feel guilty about never knitting when it seems to have totally encompassed my life. Tattoos, my own business, these cute little animals, Ravelry...My whole world has tumbled into a fiber frenzy, but I just can't seem to pick up my needles and get cracking.
It could be the argument. Chris and I haven't said a word to each other since about 4:15. Wait, that's not totally true. I asked him where the battery charger is. And he was still kind of pissed off sounding when he answered me. I don't know why he is mad. This sucks. But I'm not apologizing this time. Period.

Another Day, Another Argument

I'm getting slightly annoyed with Chris. We had such a long talk Friday night. I really thought we had come to an understanding. I didn't realize he was just going to keep yelling. I know that he wants me to not talk down to him. I understand that, but what I don't get is how he interpreted what I said as talking down to him. He was driving towards a set of doors, and I said there were a set of doors closer. He never mentioned going anywhere besides the post office, so I figured we were just going in the food court doors and he would explain to me why. Instead, he just yelled at me. He knows how much I hate when he yells at me. I don't know why he can't just calm down. I've never yelled at him before. I've never said anything out of anger towards him. I don't get why he just yells. Especially after Friday. I thought he would try not to anymore. I try to make him happy. I don't get it.
Now I'm in my room (yeah, my room. Not our room. Mine.) with the door shut so I can listen to my music and sort my yarn. He probably assumes that I'm just being pms-y and doesn't want to talk to me till I calm down. But I am calm. Very calm. Just disappointed. I have Boys Like Girls and Spoon to help me relax. I had some really fun plans for tonight and he kinda ruined it when he yelled at me. Now I just plan on sitting in my room alone for a good portion of the night. I'm tired of him yelling at me and then getting mad at me for not talking. Then I feel bad because I made him mad. I don't get angry that he yelled at me, so I end up apologizing for something he should apologize to me for. I am very much capable of having an adult conversation. I can discuss a problem without yelling and screaming and getting all pissed off. He can tell me if he is mad. He doesn't need to get all pissy with me. Maybe I'll just wait for him to apologize this time instead of running to him feeling like a bad girlfriend. I'm not a bad girlfriend. I won't be a bad girlfriend. He needs to appreciate me the way I appreciate him.

There. Now I feel a little better. Typing it out actually keeps me from wanting to go to his room and throwing my arms around him and apologizing and having him pat me on the back and tell me that he has forgiven me for whatever it was that I did wrong. It can be his fault for once.
(Ok, Miss Anxiety 2008...Whatever you say.)
Anyways!
I'm cataloging my yarn. I think I want to put it all away. Again. It was all nice and organized when I got here and I feel like I want to organize everything all over again. I like how my mom had it all put away, but I can't find my hooks for my shoe racks. I think I might just stick it on my closet shelves since I don't have any clothes. Maybe I'll even put my laundry away and put my bed together. Haven't put laundry away in weeks. I usually just let it sit on my floor until I wear it and then I just throw it in the dirty laundry. Maybe. Big maybe.
I'm running out of animals to make. I can't really think of my next project. I just gave my flying pig away so maybe I'll make one of those. I want to make two cows. One brown and one white with black spots. I figure I'll let Gail pick whichever she wants. I also want to go on Ravelry and add pictures of everything in my stash. Maybe I'll stash dive something fun tonight to keep my mind off apologizing to Chris. That sounds fun. Ooooh. I could catalog my needles and hooks and little bits and pieces, that way I'll stop loosing shit. I should stash dive and make a needle carrier. I'd have to felt something so they don't poke through the fabric.
By the way, I absolutely love the song "On Top of the World" by Boys Like Girls. I really really love it. That was part of my plan with Chris tonight.
Wish he hadn't yelled at me.