So Much Better

Well, I did it.
I asked Chris for the money to start up. And then I asked my mom for more.
On the plus side, I found this truly amazing place to buy my yarn from, and with the money my mom is giving me, I'll have enough to pay Chris pack, set some aside for more yarn, and pay for shipping to some of the KGs to send out little samples once I've got them.
I've ordered 6 hanks of sock yarn that should be here sometime in the next two weeks. I'm about ready to jump out of my skin waiting though. On the plus side, even if the yarn arrives in two weeks exactly, it will arrive precisely in time for the weekend, therefore making my first trip a nice and pleasant one filled with lots of empty house time so I don't send Chris off the the nut house with my first excursion.
Don't get me wrong. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes it's easier to be creative when he isn't here distracting me. (Or worse...Me trying to distract him!)
I had a lovely talk with one of my favorite online ladies (what am I saying?! She is totally my favorite online lady) and she tried so hard to make me feel better the other day. I wish I would have thanked her properly the other day but I was just so damn grumpy...I plan on sending her a lovely thank you when I can.
On the one down side to this whole project...It's keeping me from sleeping at night. I can't go to sleep in the first place, and then I just wake up and stay up. My whole life I've never slept straight through the night, but I haven't just woken up and stayed up since I was twelve or thirteen.
Alright. I'm done here. Google is pissing me off, so I've got to log back in to keep this thing from driving me bonkers.

My Poor iPod Just Hasn't Caught On...

It keeps playing happy music even though that's about the farthest from how I truly feel. Usually, I like to listen to happy music when I'm frustrated because it puts me in a better state of mind. Today, however, it's the music itself that's bugging me. Not because I don't like the songs (it's a 21-song playlist of my favorite 21 songs on my iPod), but because they are terribly inspiring but I can't do anything about it.

Chris finally talked me into an Etsy shop. I've got all my colors picked out to start off, but I wanted to practice before I used the nice yarn I intend to sell. So, I grabbed some Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool. I wanted to do some color samples, but this yarn doesn't dye. No matter what method I use, I can't get the yarn to take any color. I get a washed out, faded, lousy color and it means I can't do any of the hand painting I wanted to try. I either hand paint and get nothing or kettle dye and get one sucky mousy color.

Until I work out the color issue, I don't get any yarn. I know that the yarn I am ordering will take dye. Easily. I've done it several times now. But this stupid yarn won't take the color. And it's the only "undyed" yarn (though I'm fairly certain this yarn has been bleached-I've seen this happen before) around town.

I'm incredibly frustrated and not sure what the next step is. I think Chris was maybe going to get the yarn for me to start up, but now I don't think he will. He's smart. He will want to see exactly what I can do, but currently I can't do anything. He gets home around 2 so I'll talk to him and show him the problems I'm having. Maybe we can work something out.

I really wanted to have this stupid shop up by the end of next week. Now I don't think that's going to happen. To be totally honest...

I don't think I'll ever get it up and running. Not because I don't want to...But I don't think Chris will trust me enough to front me the money. Why should he? I still don't have a job. I've been late every month since December. I don't have a car (nor will I be able to use Ande's because now her brakes have completely shut down and mom's has totally died as well). I just don't do anything right. So...Even though I know he says I can make this work, I don't think he really wants to believe in me. He doesn't want to loose money. I don't blame him. I'm pretty useless as a girlfriend.

Hm. That turned depressing awfully quickly. I'm gonna go try to clean up my mess.