My Poor iPod Just Hasn't Caught On...

It keeps playing happy music even though that's about the farthest from how I truly feel. Usually, I like to listen to happy music when I'm frustrated because it puts me in a better state of mind. Today, however, it's the music itself that's bugging me. Not because I don't like the songs (it's a 21-song playlist of my favorite 21 songs on my iPod), but because they are terribly inspiring but I can't do anything about it.

Chris finally talked me into an Etsy shop. I've got all my colors picked out to start off, but I wanted to practice before I used the nice yarn I intend to sell. So, I grabbed some Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool. I wanted to do some color samples, but this yarn doesn't dye. No matter what method I use, I can't get the yarn to take any color. I get a washed out, faded, lousy color and it means I can't do any of the hand painting I wanted to try. I either hand paint and get nothing or kettle dye and get one sucky mousy color.

Until I work out the color issue, I don't get any yarn. I know that the yarn I am ordering will take dye. Easily. I've done it several times now. But this stupid yarn won't take the color. And it's the only "undyed" yarn (though I'm fairly certain this yarn has been bleached-I've seen this happen before) around town.

I'm incredibly frustrated and not sure what the next step is. I think Chris was maybe going to get the yarn for me to start up, but now I don't think he will. He's smart. He will want to see exactly what I can do, but currently I can't do anything. He gets home around 2 so I'll talk to him and show him the problems I'm having. Maybe we can work something out.

I really wanted to have this stupid shop up by the end of next week. Now I don't think that's going to happen. To be totally honest...

I don't think I'll ever get it up and running. Not because I don't want to...But I don't think Chris will trust me enough to front me the money. Why should he? I still don't have a job. I've been late every month since December. I don't have a car (nor will I be able to use Ande's because now her brakes have completely shut down and mom's has totally died as well). I just don't do anything right. So...Even though I know he says I can make this work, I don't think he really wants to believe in me. He doesn't want to loose money. I don't blame him. I'm pretty useless as a girlfriend.

Hm. That turned depressing awfully quickly. I'm gonna go try to clean up my mess.