Rain--Again

It's raining. Again. Imagine that.
I should work on finishing my elephant. But I don't want to. I am unhappy. All the life and resilience I felt two hours ago is gone.
Over one word:
Tattoo.
Chris makes me feel like I'm this terrible person sometime because he doesn't care at all about my hobbies. I try so hard to make him feel smart and important. I learned more about Python because he's a programmer. I got into video games because he likes them so much. I really REALLY tried to understand artificial life because he wants so badly to make it work. I even try to read into things even though I absolutely hate reading into books and movies. I do all these things because he wants someone to talk to because his friends abandoned him. His friends abandoned him because of me. So, because I feel awful about that, I try to be his friend. I try to learn the things he knows so he can talk to me. I even took a philosophy class so that he would be able to talk to me about his major. I try so hard to understand him and be an interesting person to talk to. He just thinks my hobbies and my interests are stupid.
I wanted so badly to get a tattoo. He thinks they're stupid. So I don't get one. I love knitting and listening to "angry" music because it makes me feel good. He just thinks knitting is silly because I never finish anything. I like to talk and he hates it that I'm always noisy. Today is one of those days where I wonder if moving in together was a terrible idea or not. I want us to work because I love him so much. I love how he makes me feel most of the time. But when he asked me what I want to do today, I said "get a tattoo", he said "no" and that was the end of the conversation. I'm not even going to tell him what I want to get because he will just tell me that it's a stupid idea. I think the only reason he put up with me getting the last one is because I told him that he was partially the reason I got it in the first place. I have an orange heart on my hip. It's tiny and barely noticeable, but I love it so much because it reminds me of him.
My heart feels so heavy today, even when it started out as such a good day. I have a feeling that I won't end up going to the knit in because Chris won't want to pick me up. I like having friends with the same hobby as me and I wish he could appreciate it as well. I don't want to feel like this today. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to have fun with my boyfriend on what started out as a beautiful day. Now I just want to lay down and sleep and be miserable. I really want to get a tattoo. Maybe I'll just walk to the tattoo place once Chris drops me off. Maybe tonight he would just be happier working from home alone. That way I don't bug him by trying to talk about my day or asking him how work is going.
I am sad again and I hate it.