Oh Yeah...By The Way

I've decided to try a new layout. What do you, Loyal Reader, think of my new diggs?

Excitement Mixed With Major Annoyance

Did I really post on the 2nd? Guess I'm getting better about keeping this thing updated.

Let's start with the bad news first. I like starting with bad news. Who doesn't? So-the bad news is this: We moved on the 9th, and already everything in our apartment has broken down. For two weeks now I have been calling maintenance almost every other day trying to get them to fix various crap in the apartment. Here's the list so far:

1. On the day we moved in, I checked the apartment for damage like most apartments have you do. First thing I saw was this nasty disgusting freezer that was brown and black inside and gross. Turns out the guy that was here before us put his ciggarettes out in the freezer.

...

Why would you do that?!?!?

So...They replaced our fridge that Monday.

2. The air conditioner, window sills and bathtub were full of construction debris from them replacing the windows, carpet, tile floors and paint job. The maintence guy came out and cleaned everything up, which was nice of him. He also replaced our air conditioner filter which was awfully nice of him.

3. The window sills, because the windows have been replaced, are completely torn apart. I mentioned this on my checklist, but the only thing they can do is bring the construction team in here to sand them down and repaint. Maybe I'm just naive, but...Isn't that the kind of thing you should have finished before moving in?

4. We decided to do all our laundry on moving day. Figured it'd be nice to get it out of the way. We ran the first load no problem. The second load (while the first was in the dryer), the washer filled up and shut off. Then, sure enough, the dryer stopped and wouldn't start again. The maintenance guy had to come back and fix our washer and dryer.

5. We have no water pressure at all in the bathtub. I've called 3 times about this and according to maintenance, "There's nothing we can do about this, so we need to call someone." That's the most definitive answer I've gotten, and still...No one's fixed this. Last night, I wanted to take a bath, so I turned the water on and figured I'd let it run for an hour and it would fill up. Wrong. After a half an hour, I couldn't hear the water running anymore, so I check the tub to see that the water is no more than a trickle. Chris saw how upset I was, so he took the inside ceramic bowl thing out of the crock pot and used the bathroom sink to fill the tub up the rest of the way. He is filing a complaint with the Better Business Beaureu (which incidentally, is right next door to the apartment complex) and I am calling one last time tomorrow before I pitch a fit.

6. The washer stopped again last night. We had maintenance come out and he said we were just running too big of a load. He asked for a garbage bag to put some of the clothes in. We let the load finish running and when we looked inside, he had washed a pair of jeans, two pairs of socks, a towel and four shirts. It would be faster to wash them by hand in the bathtub.

That's all for my bad news. Now for the exciting part.

Ravelry is hiring!

I don't even know what to think about this! Of course I have to try, but do I think I might actually be qualified. When I think back over the past year and a half with Chris, I think about how much I've learned about computers. Plus, I worked for Dan doing all sorts of computer work. Maybe I could have a chance. I'm on Ravelry a good 18 hours a day a least, so hey...Maybe it could happen. Chris says not to get my hopes up and of course I can't. Casey, Jess and Mary-Heather are going to recieve thousands of applications. There are 350,000 Ravelers. I think only about 150,000 are active on Ravelry, but still...With how many people are unemployed right now...I bet this job is a beacon to us saps! I am going to do a video as wells as a letter, just in case anything goes wrong with the video. I have a YouTube account now, so I could just upload it there, and maybe even link it to here. That would be a first.

I'm gonna go for it. Really. I've even been seriously thinking about what kind of fiber I'd be because that's one of the questions! It sounds silly, but it really could be a wonderful opportunity for someone. Especially me...

Can't Take Much More of This...

I hate being unemployed. Two months now, I've been sitting bored around the house just waiting for something to come along. Anything. Waiting for the economy to turn around. Something. I hate just sitting here watching tv or doing dishes or knitting. I know most people who work wish for nothing more than to sit around and enjoy themselves. People that work also don't have to worry about not being able to pay the bills. I barely paid rent last month and I'm not totally sure how long it's going to be before I can give Chris this month's rent. I've never not paid him, and I don't plan on this month being any different.

Then it gets interesting. We move next week. The deposit alone was $300, which means for the first month I owe Chris $5oo plus the $300 for this place. Where am I going to find $800? Even if I were to get a job today, I'd have to work 100 odd hours just to pay rent at $8 an hour. And who knows if I can even get a job making that much? I've been fired from the last 2 jobs, had an "issue" with the job before that so I quit, and then fired from the job before that! Who would want to hire me? No body is hiring and even if they were, my resume blows. I'm seriously fucked. What am I supposed to do? Even with unemployment, I'm only getting half of what I need for this month.

I could call my dad and ask him for the money, but we all know what he'd say. He'd say that he needs that money since he's paying almost $8000 in child support every year and thinks my mom is wasting it on booze or hookers or whatever. I should call him tonight. Marcell is coming up to Fort Wayne on Wednesday and I think I'd rather talk to her about it. I think if I talk to Marcell first, she can brace my dad. But then what am I supposed to do? Even if my dad gives me the $800 I owe Chris, what about next month? Next month I have another $350-$400 I need to come up with.

I'm starting to feel like giving up. I want to run away because I just don't know what to do. I'm ready to drop out of college and just go live as a bum somewhere since I can't seem to find a job no matter what. No body wants to hire a twice fired college kid.

What the hell am I going to do?

National WIP Finishing Day! (and by national-I mean just for me)

I've decided that because Chris will be at work all day, I am going to finish up some of my giant pile of WIPs. They are in danger of taking up more space than my yarn, so I'm gonna try to finish some of them. Maybe I'll keep posted here, even though I hardly ever blog. Gonna start off with Chris's Valentine's sweater. Get the collar done, then move on to my Kenobi jacket, then his hat, then my hedgehog, then maybe some socks. I figure that I don't have a car today (the battery is totally dead and not holding a charge), so I'll make my time useful here.

Unemployed, Yet Again

I can't stand being unemployed. I'm so bored! Yet I lack the will to get off my fat, lazy ass and go out there and get a job. The economy is pretty awful right now, which discourages me even more. I'm underqualified for most jobs, and the jobs that I am suited for aren't hiring because everyone is broke right now.

I'm starting to feel depressed again because of this. Ever since I met Chris I haven't been able to hold a steady job. It's just been one thing after another. How is it possible that I've made it this far on my own? I can't think of a single month where I haven't needed my mom's help for something because I just don't have the money.

I know that I'm kind of PMSy right now, but there are roots there. It's not like I'm ready to kill myself because no one likes me or anything silly like that...I'm just so frustrated with what my life has become.

I feel awful all the time now. It's everything. While Chris is at work, I want to sleep because I just get so tired. When I wake up I feel guilty. The dishes get done between once and twice a week. I feel guilty about that, but on the other hand, I feel like I shouldn't have to maintain a perfect house. Then I feel like Chris is mad because he wants me to do the dishes. Just because I'm unemployed doesn't mean I don't have things to do, meaning I don't want to sit and clean house all day every day. Also, I don't feel that I should have dinner plans ready as soon as Chris comes home. My cooking skills are incredibly limited. It's not that I can't cook at all, but there are few meals I make well. He won't eat half of them because they aren't "dinner foods." Again, just because I am unemployed does not make me a cook. I can't remember the last time Chris cooked for me.

I feel unappreciated again. And then I feel worse, because he spends money on me and I can't return the favor because I'm broke. I don't know if he expects me to cook and clean and go grocery shopping because I can't buy him anything...Or if it's just because he wants me to be the housewife.

It kills me not being able to buy groceries, but then again...Why should I always be the one to fork over money for food? Last time he bought groceries, he spent $80. We got to the checkout lane and I pulled his wallet out of my purse for him to get money. He was surprised that I expected him to pay, even though I had just given him the only $300 I had for rent. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe it's because we haven't been grocery shopping in weeks and we desperately need to go, but I feel that if I bring it up to him, he's going to be offended and say "Well, you're home all day, why didn't you just go earlier?" and then be mad when I need him to pay.

I haven't been feeling sexy lately either. And it's because I worry that Chris won't love me because I always seem to be unemployed.

I need to go cry for a while. That's one thing the PMS still has over me.

The War of the Housework

I hate doing dishes.

Welcome to Flat Top, Now You Can All Go to Hell

I think Mike sucks. Everyone who knows me has listened to me bitch about how much work sucks because of Mike. Mike Mike Mike. He's a great big jerk ass and I hope he doesn't give me my job back so I can go on unemployment and be happy without Flat Top.

Anyways, back to earth...

I cut my finger pretty hardcore yesterday and my Hello Kitty band-aid is making it really hard to type. I could take it off, but then I risk opening the cut and gushing blood all over my keyboard, and that's totally NOT what my computer needs right now. I watched Sin City last night for the first time and now I feel like I need to add blood and gore to my every thought. Yuck.

Chris's surgery went well, until his contact fell out Sunday morning and he was in agonizing pain for hours and I had to sit there unable to help him. He's asleep right now, and I think his tear duct implants are bothering him. He took a pain pill this morning, which he was fine without yesterday. Pretty soon the implants will dissolve and he will feel a million times better. Until then, I just keep putting in eyedrops and wait for him to see again.

We put up the Christmas tree yesterday after a hellacious start to a miserable Monday. First, I left the Christmas tree stand in Ande's car, so we were gonna drive back to Warsaw to go get it. However, my car wouldn't start because I left the lights on all night Sunday night. His Jeep wouldn't start because it's too cold here. His mom came over and jumped me which was awfully nice of her. We got the car started and headed out to look for Christmas trees that weren't frozen to death. There were none to be found. Luckily, Chris's mom had an old fake tree that she only used once or twice and then boxed up. It's in pretty good shape. It's not real, which bothers me to no end, but at least we have a tree. Next year, Chris promises we'll have a nice big real tree. The tree already had lights on it, but since we bought color-coordinating lights, we stripped the tree and put the old lights to good use. They're strung around the ceiling in our apartment which makes for a pretty romantic evening.

The fireplace is almost finished. Chris said he wanted to finish it tonight before Christmas. If his implants are still bothering him, he won't be able to see well enough to finish it in time. We head out to my dad's early tomorrow morning. I want to leave here around 8. I don't know if I'll be able to get Chris out of bed. Lately he's been getting up early for work, so that helps.

We moved all our furniture around last night to set up for the Christmas tree. Our apartment looks bigger in my opinion. It's kinda nice.

It's been forever since I last posted, and I think it's just because I'm starting to loose intrest in anything I once did. I still love to knit and spin and everything, but it's just been shoved down my throat lately because of Christmas. Christmas knittin always makes me hate knitting for about a month. Luckily I now have Ravelry which keeps my interest peaked, however I have started spending more time in front of my computer than with my needles. I still need to finish Kacy's present. The ends haven't been sewn in and I have no straps. However, I think that it's tight enough it won't need straps, especially worn over something else. I hope it fits her alright. I made it her size, so when I try it on it just looks silly. I have muffin tops now. Isn't that exciting?

I also need to finish the hippo and Melanie's sock. I started it about an hour ago and I got a whole row and a half finished before I headed back over to my dear computer. I have till Friday to get those socks finished and wrapped. I still need to get the dishes done today, finish up wrapping gifts and straighten up my room in case Shelly and Scott come over with the girls. Yuck.

Funny how I haven't posted in forever. I come back and make my triumphant return by bitching about Christmas.

Merry Christmas everyone!